Before you start to beat yourself up, before you get angry and throw it all away, before you start to believe that you can’t, stop and take a deep breath. Breathe. We have all been there. We all have gotten “too busy”, “too tired”, felt like nothing was happening. We have all let life stand in our way, let ourselves stand in our own way. And you are not a failure for it. You are not a crappy person.
There are a million and one excuses we could give for why we toppled off whatever wagon we were riding. The fitness wagon, the writing wagon, the career wagon. Doesn’t matter what wagon we got on, we all have hit a bump and came crashing down, or slowly wandered from it. And of all of the reasons we can give we ultimately know they are excuses. Period. I’m guilty too.
But why would we make these excuses? Why can’t we just finish it? Why do we keep falling? The biggest truth is how bad do you want it.
When I first started this blog I was inspired. I wanted to share my ideas with the world. To write posts that meant something, that people could relate to, or that could help others get through the things that I went through. But After a week I lost that spark and fell off the wagon. It wasn’t that I didn’t have things I wanted to share. And I could give a million reasons as to why “I’m a single mom working and in school”, “I got back together with and left my ex again”, “I was busy”. But honestly it was my drive. I let life put out my spark. But here I am, back again, and that’s ok.
And here is my plan.
First, I needed to re-establish my goals and my why. I remember being asked my first year of college for a “why statement”, why was I there. I rolled my eyes and couldn’t give a real well thought out answer and that’s honestly probably why I dropped out several times before becoming a now straight A student. If you don’t have a why, you will never have the motivation to get shit done.
Why do I want to write? Why do I want to lift weights? Why do I want my BSN?
I want to write because I am passionate about writing. I also have gone through so much in my life and writing is an outlet, and if I can share my experiences with someone who might be going through something similar and I can help them then HELL YEAH! I want to lift weights because I come from a family of overweight, unhealthy and unhappy people. Because I spent my early age being made fun of for not being pretty enough or smart enough. I grew up craving to be thin and beautiful the point of starving myself. So I lift and I eat right because I want to be healthy, not thin, healthy. Because my body is amazing and it deserves the best. Lastly I want to be a Nurse because I live for others. I’m an aid now and My heart breaks for the kids in the mental health units, my heart swells for the babies just brought into the world. Because I live to pour my heart and soul into my patients. I’m the one that gets to nurture babies in their first hours, and comfort others in their final hours. I get that amazing gift. And not only will I get to live out my dream and passion but I could give my son the life I’ve only ever dreamed of.
Second, the excuses. Looking within myself what are my excuses for why I can’t succeed. What are the silly little lies I tell myself that prevent me from reaching my goals. And I need to be honest with myself about these things.
I’m too busy, yes I have a lot going on. I’m a single mom working and going to school. BUT how many single moms were in the same boat and still kicked ass everyday? How many make less money than me, work more hours and worse shifts than me and STILL showed up?
How about “tomorrow”? “I’ll go to the gym, tomorrow.” “I’ll eat better, tomorrow” “I’ll start that blog, tomorrow”. Yeah we all do it, but when does tomorrow ever come?
“I’m tired”, “I’m not good at school”, “I don’t feel like it,” “what if it doesn’t work”. YOU HAVE GOT TO NOT ONLY ACKNOWLEDGE YOU’RE EXCUSES BUT GET REAL WITH YOURSELF. And if you can’t get real with yourself then how bad do you really want it?
Third, make a game plan. Write it out and show up. Start with a list of what you want to accomplish. No matter how big or small. Sort them out, what can be done in the next few weeks? Months? Year? 5 years? Then make a list off all of the excuses you can give yourself, add to this list every time you give yourself a new one. Pick a few goals that are attainable right now, set yourself up for success. If you try to accomplish everything at once you will surely overwhelm yourself. But if you pick a few small things, that success will help fuel your drive to continue.
Lastly, do it. Keep your promise to yourself and freakin do it already. You said you were gonna go to the gym but you’re tired, do it. You said you were gonna write that blog post but you want to watch tv, write the post. You said you want that degree but you think you suck at school, well stop sucking, go to the tutor center, talk to your teachers, ask questions, study, say no to outings to stay home and practice.
My most helpful tip for this last part is buy a planner, yes I know all phones have a calendar, I don’t care buy a planner. Get a couple of colorful pens, I love the bic gelocity, they write nicely, are comfortable and come in pretty colors. Schedule it! Schedule it! Schedule it! If you’re always telling yourself you do not have time then schedule it. If you tell yourself you are gonna go to the gym 4 days a week WRITE IT DOWN. If you said today you were gonna go to the gym after work and now your friends want to grab dinner “cool, I’m going to the gym at 5pm but I can meet you at 630!” It’s ok to say no and put your goals first. Not only does scheduling mentally prepare you but it helps you stay attentive to what you want to achieve. It makes it trackable and holds you accountable. As you reach milestones add in more goals.
The most important thing is you HAVE to be bigger than your excuses. You HAVE to keep reminding yourself of your why. And you HAVE to get back up and get back on that damn wagon no matter how many times you fall.