A little while ago I read about how standing in the iconic “Superman” pose, you know the one with your head held high and your hands on your hips, can make you feel more confident. I thought to myself if something so silly could ACTUALLY improve the way you feel, than why not implement it in other places in my life. And if so could all these posts about positive mindset really work? There was only one way to find out for sure, and that was to try it for myself.
SO in the midst of school and work full time while balancing the everyday life of being a mom, I started telling myself that I am Supermom. I even tell myself this louder on the days where I need a little more of a reminder of just how strong I am. You hear everywhere that how you think greatly impacts your mood, and I can personally confirm that mindset plays a very large part in how we see ourselves and the world around us. What you believe, you actually make true.
In my psychology class we discussed the sociological studies about “self-fulfilling prophecy”, this is any positive or negative expectation about circumstances, events, or people (including yourself) that may affect your behavior in a way that proves those expectations to be correct. For example if you tell yourself you are never going to lose weight, you will only notice the areas where the weight isn’t coming off, you wont see the areas where it is, or how much stronger you are getting, how healthy your skin is looking or sometimes you may even be afraid to step on the scale. If you tell yourself you aren’t a good parent you will only notice the times that you make mistakes or come up short, not all the times that you were exactly who your child needed you to be, therefore falsely confirming your belief. If you tell yourself that you aren’t smart enough, then sure enough your grades will reflect that belief because why try if you “know” you’re going to fail?
After only a few short weeks of reminding myself that I am Supermom, I have completely changed my outlook on life. I have found that I am significantly happier and more able to enjoy my time with my son, not that I hadn’t before but the stress of everything going on at once definitely was taking it’s toll on my relationship with him. I’ve found that celebrating my wins instead of wallowing in my mistakes or defeats has also significantly improved my self confidence, my grades in school and even my performance at work. Not to mention it’s helped me maintain a more consistent workout regimen when I spend less time beating myself up for missing a day or not trying as hard.
This is my first semester back in college after a career of dropping out and failing. Not to mention my high school career wasn’t much better. The beginning of High school I thought of myself as a profound writer. In fact one of my teachers had kept all of the pieces to my research paper (the annual end of the year large portion of our grade assignment) to show her future classes. But by the end of the 4 years I was completely convinced that I sucked at school and I was never going to be able to earn my degree in Nursing let alone shoot for anything higher than that. So my behavior reflected that. I spent my first year at college putting in more hours at work than school. And my free time was spent out partying with my friends instead of studying for exams or writing my papers. Any assignments I did complete was a last minute thrown together pieces I wouldn’t be proud to put my name on. Soon after I found myself easily poured into relationships that only further convinced me I didn’t have what it took. But here I am, 3 1/2 years later with straight A’s and all it took was me believing in myself.
This is something literally anyone can do, and it doesn’t take anything more than just a conscious effort to recognize your wins more than your loses. When you wake up in the morning set your intentions, start with something small like walking for 15 minutes, or drink 3 more glasses of water, and keep those promises to yourself. At the end of the day reflect and celebrate your wins maybe you surpassed your goal and drank 5 more glasses instead of 3, or your walk felt so good you made it 20 minutes. Keep doing this everyday but slowly increasing as time goes on. If you didn’t quite make it brainstorm on what you can do better tomorrow instead of beating yourself up.
I know it sounds a lot easier than it is, but stay positive, be stronger than your excuses and brighter than your darkest thoughts. Even if you didn’t make your goals, find something you did do. Maybe you were kind to a stranger, or you helped a coworker complete a task or you took the stairs instead of the elevator. Celebrate your wins no matter how small. I always say life is like a magnifying glass, what you focus on grows.
I by NO means am perfect. I have my fair share of days where I do not want to go to the gym, I would rather eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream than lift a single weight. I have had my days where I maybe spent too much time playing on my phone and not enough time interacting with my son, or mommy is a little too irritable and a lot under caffeinated, the laundry is piling up and I haven’t even done my reading for class tomorrow. LIFE HAPPENS. But over time I have come to realize that those are the days I need to show up, those are the days that I need to remind myself that I am supermom. I owe it to myself to prove myself wrong. I put my fist to my hips, hold my head high and say “I am Supermom”.